This post really has nothing to do with my artwork, but it is something I think about a lot, and something a lot of people don't understand about me.
     Sometimes I feel like my life is just a blur of running from place to place. I feel as though I have no time to enjoy this stage of life like all of my friends do. People say our 20's and our time in college should be the best times of our lives. But that is definitely not the case for me. I honestly don't like being in college at all and cannot wait to graduate and have more control over my time and my life. I've lost friends and relationships because I have no time to hang out and go do things. Being a full time student and working practically full time has really taken a toll on me for the past year. There are very few people who understand me and have stuck around through my busy life.
     I spend my weekends working on commissions for pottery, working on my sculptures, or physically at work. This weekend all I have wanted to do was go to Amicalola falls, or even just Kennesaw Mountain and go for a hike to clear my head. But I can't. I am stuck inside continually making things or being productive in some way.
     I was told just this week that I am the oldest 21 year old my teacher has ever known. I have my life planned out as much as I can possibly plan it, and  I have a direction I am heading.  I have plans to buy a house, and every dollar I make goes towards that goal.
     When I was 15 my parents got divorced, and I learned really quickly that as a woman I should  never depend on a man to support me. Marriage can end terribly and tear families apart, which is exactly what happened to our family. My mom was forced to be on her own, and luckily her business was thriving and was able to support us and has continued to support us all of these years. I want to be at a point in life where I am stable on my own. I want to buy a house, which is scary, but it is an investment I want to make completely on my own without help as soon as I possibly can. As an art major I have received a great deal of comments like "I guess you want to be a starving artist" or "Well I hope you find a rich man to support you," and these comments come from people in my life that I thought cared about me. I feel like these are the people that push me to work harder just so I can prove them wrong. I work so hard to make sure that I can be independent person, and can make it on my own if that is the case. My personal future is more important to me right now than a relationship where I feel restrained or held back from my goals.
     Eventually all of this work and dedication will pay off, and I can prove that what I am doing right now was worth it.